Have Financial and End-of-Life Talks Before Dementia Closes the Window

Full analysis

Christy Byrne Yates, whose both parents developed dementia, stresses that the time to discuss finances, estate documents, and end-of-life wishes is well before any diagnosis, because once cognitive decline sets in, those conversations may no longer be possible. Her parents had already established a trust, worked with a financial planner, and documented their end-of-life preferences — including a clear preference for assisted living over living with family — which gave Yates a blueprint and spared siblings from fighting over what their parents would have wanted. She also recounts a moment when her father, facing kidney disease, told his doctor he did not want dialysis; she had to surrender to that decision even though it was painful, because it was legally and ethically his to make. The takeaway she offers readers of her book, Building a Legacy of Love: Thriving in the Sandwich Generation, is to treat these conversations as a gift to the people who will eventually need to act on them.