Kittenfishing in Midlife: Small Exaggerations, Real Risks

Full analysis

Kittenfishing — a term gaining traction on social media — means subtly inflating your achievements, interests, or credentials rather than assuming a completely false identity (which is catfishing). It shows up in dating profiles, professional bios, and social settings, and psychologist Deborah Heiser argues it is especially common and emotionally risky for people in midlife, who grew up with mottos like 'fake it til you make it' and are now reinventing themselves through dating apps, career changes, and new social circles. Common examples include claiming to love pickleball to impress a date when you've never played, or listing expertise on a résumé you haven't actually earned. Heiser suggests replacing the 'fake it' mindset with framing like 'I'm pivoting' or 'I'm taking on new opportunities,' and being upfront early about what you don't yet know — which, she argues, protects emotional well-being and builds more honest connections.